And you didn’t bring a hot date.
Instead, you forced your female best friend to come along while you get semi-drunk and try to dodge questions from his parents’ friends on how you know the groom.
FYI: ‘I’m his ex-girlfriend’ will get you an awkward nod and even more awkward follow-up questions on who you’re dating now.
‘No-one, OK Carol? No-one. I’m single.’
As you’ve probably gathered by the overtly specific description, I don’t need to imagine this scenario.
The engagement party took place just under two years ago and the wedding between my ex-boyfriend and his new lady is set for this summer at a beautiful hotel in Lithuania.
And yes, I’m invited.
And yes, I can hear you shouting: ‘Why, oh why, would you do that?’
The automatic response to whether or not you should invite an ex to your wedding or attend an ex’s wedding always seems to be a big resounding no.
But, why shouldn’t I go?
I’m not in love with him anymore. I don’t have a secret stash of love letters from the past, although we didn’t actually write any, and we’ve stayed great friends over the years.
I’m even on good terms with his fiancee.
And, since they aren’t a famous royal couple like Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, I’m fairly certain my ex’s wedding won’t be broadcast on national television.
If so, I might’ve passed on the invitation.
Although, if my ex was as famous as Prince Harry, I might’ve tagged along just to attend the amazing after-party.
There’s nothing wrong with attending your ex’s wedding, so long as you’re not hurting anyone. Including yourself.
Then again, there’s also nothing wrong with a buffer.
Especially when the wedding is held in an exotic country, far away from my comforting bed and that late-night kebab I’ll crave after drinking too much champagne.
Maybe I’ll sneak some wedding cake back to the room.
Regardless, I learned my lesson from the engagement party and will be bringing a plus one. A male plus one. Tom, my trusted buffer, is one of my best friends and has that special quality that will help fend off unwanted questions from other guests: a penis.
What’s even better, he has a girlfriend. I therefore don’t have to worry about any drunken shenanigans and am free to hit on fellow guests or sexy hotel staff as I please. Jokes aside, I’m excited about the wedding. Mainly because this ex isn’t ‘the one who got away’.
There are no painful memories to hold onto. We settled that years ago. But, no, I’m not going alone, but not because I couldn’t face the situation.
My ex is a lovely man and I’m genuinely happy for him and his bride-to-be. The need for a buffer? And a male one at that? That’s because of people like Carol, who I seem to meet on a weekly basis, and their inevitable question of why I’m ‘still single’ at 28. Thanks a lot, Carol.